The only person whose behaviour we can control is our own. The only way to facilitate change in our lives to to change ourselves and be self-aware of our own thoughts, and behaviours. We can ask our selves: What do I really want? And what am I doing to get what I want? Is this working? If not how can I behave differently to get closer to what I want.
We not only think and behave as humans we also feel and have physiology working simultaneously. People often get stuck on their feelings and physiology, and forget about the other two very important components: thinking and behaving. When we are stuck in our feelings its difficult and often impossible to just stop feeling this way. What we can do is change what we are doing. A change in behaviour can often facilitate a change in our thoughts and then our feelings and physiology change as well.
This idea of Total behaviour can be compared to a front wheel drive car. The two front wheels of the car are the “doing” wheel and the “thinking” wheel. The two back wheels are the “feeling” wheel and the “physiology” wheel. When we get stuck on the back wheels or stuck in our feelings and physiology, we need to engage our front wheels to get us moving again. We need to start doing something, and possibly something we have never tried before to activate our thoughts, and indirectly change our feelings and physiology. So in essence, our front wheels of our car must be engaged to pull us forward, and out the icky feelings and icky physiology. Our front wheels will help the back wheels move. This is a principle of Choice Theory developed by Dr. William Glasser: All behaviour is total behaviour and is made up of 4 components ( acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology). All total behaviour is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.