Its good to be self aware of our universal needs and allow people in your life who help you meet these needs. Humans have 5 basic needs: Survival, Belonging, Fun. Freedom, and Achievement.
Survival is the most important and if this need is not being met the other ones don’t come into play as much as a person is behaving to survive. Survival refers to safety, food, water, and oxygen.
Love and Belonging is usually the second important need. It refers to the need to feel liked, respected and supported by others as well as the ability to like, support and respect others. It is a need to have supportive people in your life and have the skills and ability to be supportive in return. Often times people who have disorders such as schizophrenia have trouble with relationships and finding a place where they feel belonging.
Fun is a need as well. We all need to laugh, relax and enjoy life. When people are stressed out this need is usually the one that is lacking.
Achievement refers to the need to be good at something. When kids are really good academically they usually do not engage in bulling or bad behaviour. When kids do poorly academically they behave to have this need met and discover quickly that they are god at being bad or they are good at being a bully. If we can help kids discover what they are good at, it may keep them more focused on the positive. Adults are no different. We need to feel that we are good at things, and engage in activities that we feel successful with, whether it be basketball, knitting, or fishing. The key is discovering what individual qualities you have and engaging in these activities that help you meet your achievement need.
Freedom need refers to the need to have choices, and options. We feel free because we have the ability to decide, and plan. Mothers will often give up their freedom to attempt at pleasing their family. This may seem like the right thing to do, but its good to teach your family about balance too, and make time for yourself. Even decisions around what to have for supper is helping your freedom need to be met. Allow yourself to have options and explore what they are, ad what choices may be best for you and everyone else involved, but don’t forget the “you” part!
Awareness of these needs is key, and being able to plan ways to meet these needs can be very helpful to achieving happiness. Its not about becoming selfish and focusing on only yourself, but its about not denying yourself while looking after everyone else either. It’s about balance!!! Looking after yourself . Its like the lecture the flight attendants give before take off: “if the air pressure in the cabin changes, the oxygen mask will drop down, put YOUR mask on first, an do not attempt to help anyone else until your mask is secure.” The needs are like this as well. Meet your needs and then you can help others meet theirs.