Relationships are Key.

Choice theory developed by Dr. Willam Glasser  teaches that all long lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.  The problem relationship is always part of our present life.  What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.  This is good news  because  if this is the case, we can work on our present life  and develop hope for our future.  We cannot change the past or fix the past, but we can learn from it  and work on the present to facilitate change for now and the future.   Becoming self aware of what relationships we want  is the first step.  Often times people work hard on relationships  when really they  have no commonalities with this person,  nor desire to be close to them.  Guilt  often keeps us from  the reality of a relationship.  For example:  People will often stay close with a friend they have had since childhood,  just because they think it’s the right thing to do.  The friendship may be uncomfortable, unpleasant,  and downright abusive  at times,  but  we often think that we “must” remain friends  and keep this relationship in tact  even if  its already dead.  People change  and grow apart,  and go separate ways.  Its O.K  to let go of friends from the past.  Its actually  healthy  to reflect on the people you surround yourself with  and ask yourself:  why do I like this person?  What do we have in common?  What qualities do I like about them?  If they are supportive, loving and kind to you,  work on the relationship and reciprocate.  If they are mean,  nasty,  and go against your moral values,  let them go, they will find others they have more in common with and so will you.

 

 

 

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